*SHOUTING TO THE HEAVENS*
I’m so fucking weird
I’m the nicest rude person you’ll ever meet.
I don’t give a fuck about anything but at the same time, I care about a lot.
I hate people but I want to be everyone’s friend.
I hate myself but I’m completely fabulous.
I need help.
1. Start each week by making your bed. And if you start to feel disorderly, make it again. As you smooth the wrinkles, pretend as though you are calming each emotion back into its proper place. No one has power over the things you feel except you and sometimes you just need to visualize it.
2. His name existed before he told it to you. It does not hold power or weight. It is only a name. He does not have to cripple you every time you hear it. Repeat it until it loses significance. Some days you will repeat it longer than others and that’s okay.
3. You are human. Some days you will feel like less and other days you may feel like more. Figure out what makes you so and don’t you dare forget it.
4. Don’t forget meals and don’t you dare skip them because you are too tired or too heartbroken or just don’t feel like eating. Coffee does not count as a meal. Taking care of your body should always be a priority no matter how you are feeling.
5. You do not need to be envious of those with colorful eyes. There is nothing wrong with brown eyes. They are deep like soil and dark like coffee and someone will dig you out and drink you in again.
6. It is okay to listen to his mixed tape and to sip the nostalgia for what he left behind. But only drink in moderation. Too much is toxic. Do not lose yourself in missing him again.
7. Get lost in the sun rise or set at least once a week. Take note of what the sky has to say. Strive to stay as true and honest and bright as the colors that blaze across the it.
8. The rate at which others you know move on is completely irrelevant to the rate at which you move on. Be honest. If your heart is an ocean and you are 14,000 ft. deep then come up as slowly as you need so the pressure does not break you further. You will reach the surface again and the currents will carry you to fresh water.
9. Forgiving someone does not mean you have to let them back into your life. If he ever returns and wants to carry you away, tell him no. You are finally getting his poison out. He was good at changing you for the better but he is better at changing his own mind.
10. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to dance because it is too tainted with memories of him. One day your mind will change to let in new memories. But do not rush it. Do not feel obligated to take the hand of any boy who asks you to dance.
11. When you miss holding hands, remember that there is always one reaching out to you even if it’s not the one you want. I promise that you will never regret grabbing on.